Tuesday, June 21, 2005


woke up with a start at 3 in the morning because i had to pee. and then i couldn't go back to sleep after that. my nights have been like this lately--i'd get up twice in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom. sometimes i'm lucky and fall right back to sleep. but sometimes, like this morning, i had to stare at the ceiling till my eyes went all bleary. several times, i resisted the temptation to pick up a book. i thought the mental stimulation might make it worse.

my pregnancy book says it's normal--the baby's pressure on the bladder makes it necessary for me to urinate frequently . (but at nine weeks, isn't the baby just be slightly longer than an inch? how could something so small be such big trouble, i wonder. haha.) and in late pregnancy, it's the body's way of getting itself accustomed to the regular feeding cycles once the baby is born. (okay. but must it be this early in the pregnancy?)

oh no. goodbye, dreamland. goodbye, blissful beauty sleeps.

i looked at my husband soundly sleeping (and snoring loudly) beside me and envied him. so to kill the time i entertained myself by visualizing how the baby would look like. in my mind i put together features from A's and my baby pics. but the baby i visualized was too hairy for a newborn, i thought. it wasn't a very easy exercise.

then, i consoled myself with the thought that we will be hearing the baby's heart beat for the first time later that morning. i got excited at the thought. then i felt a pang of hunger, so i reached for my stash of crackers on the bedside table and munched on a cracker. then, i wanted to go down and have a drink of water, but couldnt muster the energy to do so. i couldn't remember what happened next. it must have been the time i nodded off back to sleep. it must already have been 5 am ( i couldn't see the clock), because outside it was already getting light.

i woke up at 7 am, and i caught A just going out the door. we wanted to be early today at the doctor's today, and so i had no choice but to pull myself out of bed.

we had breakfast, then we left at 8:15 am. incredibly, there was no traffic, despite the news that there was a fire at robinsons tower. we got to the doctor's clinic at exactly 9 am, only to be told by carol the secretary that dr. alfiler had an emergency that morning and all consultations were cancelled.

A and i were so disappointed. we'd waited two weeks for the ultrasound. so we went and consoled ourselves with brunch at rufo's.


Blogger marie said...

errrmmmm, a hairy baby? oh no, little bee is going to be a hairy little girl! :P .. oh darn, you have to wait another two weeks for another heartbeat appointment? you can get a stethoscope (sp?) and listen to your belly and baby squirming around, you know, but it may still be too early to do that.

June 22, 2005 2:39 AM  
Blogger eruannie said...

i dreamed of how my babies would look like. and they turned out what my dream foretold.

June 22, 2005 10:17 AM  
Blogger may said...

my co-teacher told me that, too. my lack of dreams was a portent, perhaps. we sadly lost the baby.

June 22, 2005 5:03 PM  

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